Do we grow the most when we’re in pain? Hopefully, one can grow nearly as much learning from someone else’s pain. Of course, a fulfilling life requires balancing pain with joy – especially when you’ve experienced as much pain as Margot and Mike as portrayed in the book Living In Color: A Love Story, In Sickness and In Health. Written by Mike Murphy, the book is a memoir about his second wife, Margot.
Not your typical memoir, this story contains something for almost everyone: spiritual lessons, romance, building a family from the wreckage of two families broken apart, and battles with cancer. As Blueink Reviews put it, “Cynics might assume Living in Color is yet another sentimental memorial to a deceased loved one. But Mike Murphy’s story is much more than that. His account of his beloved second-wife Margot’s struggle with cancer is a love story, a primer on accepting life, whatever it brings, and a practical guide for caregivers, as he was for Margot… invaluable for anyone facing the issues of life and death.”
Mike shares Margot’s words, poems, and photographs throughout the book, including her humor and grace in a way that makes you feel like a friend of Margot’s. There are so many spiritual lessons to gain from reading Living In Color that one could write another book on the subject.
Many of the lessons revolve around romantic love. In one passage from the book, Mike tells about a humorous moment during their wedding vows where Margot tells him, “You are my hero… and my greatest challenge,” which got everyone laughing.
In a more sober passage, Mike says, “We were happy, although our relationship was always volatile — we were so alike that when things were good, they were incredible, but when we fought, it could be devastating. We shared too many of the same wounds and weaknesses… We were both stubborn — me with my Irish temper, and Margot with her fiery Latina spirit.” Then, he goes on to express something he learned from spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss, simultaneously lightening up the tone, “A soul mate is the one who makes your soul grow the most… In this sense, Margot and I were most definitely soul mates.”
Mike and Margot made one another’s souls grow. Both of them consistently rise from their painful experiences wiser. Mike shares many of Margot’s philosophies throughout the book. One that helped Mike is, “Pain is an enlightenment, but only if you see it that way. It can bring you closer to God.”
Margot’s strength constantly astounded her family and will do the same to readers of Living In Color. She called upon love to lift her through a decade of pain no one should have to endure. She looked at this as a spiritual journey, telling Mike, “Sometimes I wonder if perhaps the universe, God, or destiny — whatever we call it — wanted us to endure more than most so that we could love more than most.”
Reading the book, you’ll understand how wholeheartedly Margot loved, and Mike learned to love. In addition to their love for each other, they loved their family, friends, and people they didn’t know. This immense love is sure to leave a legacy far beyond their physical lives.
Early in the book, Mike expresses how he had a longing to help people beyond his family and friends. After Margot passed, Mike started The Love From Margot Foundation. The foundation helps low-income women who’ve been diagnosed with cancer pay for necessities and natural treatments. If you’re ready to grow spiritually, read this book.
